It’s a piece alright. This was the longest 11.5 minutes of my life. I have had visits to the dentist that were less painful. I would rather see Betty White naked (and confess it to my bishop) than listen to this album again.
I will spare you the horror of listening to this album by describing this (I hesitate to call it “musical”) train wreck. So horrific, in fact, that I’m sure it will cause many “Nights without Slumba”.
A quick run-down of the tracks:
“Back (4 Tha Furst Time)”: My main recollection of this song was that they said “yo” an awful lot and mentioned R.L. Stine. Though the Goosebumps series would hardly qualify as high literature, I was pleasantly surprised to hear they read at all. A third grade reading level is apropos; that seems to be their emotional age.
“U Don’t Understand Me” feat. Grizelle: I had already assumed Da Korum were a couple of 20-somethings still living at home. This song confirmed my suspicions with the line, “when I turned 18, I ran away from home and worked at Arby’s for two weeks until I moved back home.” Is it even possible to run away from home once you’re 18? Though I can hardly stomach listening to a couple of spoiled adult children rap about how rough their lives are, I actually felt sorry for the dude who went to summer camp and didn’t earn a single merit badge. He breaks down and cries right in the midst of recording. Why didn’t they edit that part out? I’m guessing they spent all their allowance and had no money left to cover the costs of re-doing the vocals. Studio time IS expensive. Despite all of that, this song is probably the highlight of the CD. I am impressed with the female vocals. I am amazed that they even speak to girls, let alone convince them to appear on a record. She probably just works for the studio.
“Worldz Without Numba”: This is easily the worst astronomy lesson ever taught. If the members of Da Korum actually received high school diplomas, they should be taken away immediately and all their teachers should be fired. Do they even teach spelling in school anymore? They change “care” to “ker” so they can rhyme with “err” (which is their new version of “air”). Did you not realize “care” and “air” already rhymed?
Da Korum seem to be sadly ignorant of how sadly ignorant they are. They even attempt to dazzle us with their knowledge of the Theory of Relativity. I wouldn’t be surprised if Einstein starts to haunt them for this botch job.
Can they just hie to Kolob and never come back?